Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY!

From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE?

Michele Bachmann?On the Issues

HPV vaccinations:

"There's a woman who came up crying to me tonight after the debate. She said her daughter was given that vaccine. She told me her daughter suffered mental retardation as a result of that vaccine. There are very dangerous consequences!"

Climate change:

"A polar koala bear came up to me outside the grocery store, and he said the Arctic ice caps are bigger than they've ever been before, and polar ice is forming so fast now that his polar koala bear family and friends are getting frozen into all this ice and they gotta use blowtorches to prevent their little handpaws and feetpaws from getting frostbite. Global cooling is the great environmental menace of our time!"

Immigration:

"I was on a airplane that was in flying mode when a gremlin appeared on the wing and peeked in my window. Obviously we couldn?t hear each other, so we played Pantomimes until his message became clear: we need more laser-toting prairie dogs and exploding tumbleweeds at the border. Also: Mexicans in Mexico need to start?speaking?ENGLISH!"

Gays:

"I was coming home from abstinence practice the other day when a man ran up to me sobbing. He said that the homosexuals had used their 'Gay-T-M' cards to withdraw all the town's money. Now everybody's hungry, the garbage is piling up by the curb, and they've totally banned polyester. This is what happens, people!"

History:

"A park statue of Founding Father John Wayne told me, 'Congresswoman, don?t let them fool you into thinking the Shot Heard Round the World was fired from Concord, Massachusetts!' He said that's a lie by the hard-left fringe to sanctify Massachusetts as a liberal shrine! So let's hear it for the real cradle of liberty: Concord, New Hampshire, located in Boston, Iowa!"

Of course, I'm not making any claims that she said most of these things. I'm just reporting what I told myself she said, and I have never been known to be wrong, according to my source, which is my mirror when I'm standing in front of it. (It also sometimes tells me I'm "lookin' snappy there, pard'ner!")

The autumn wind came blowin' in, and it smelled like pie! Your west coast-friendly edition of  Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Source: http://feeds.dailykos.com/~r/dailykos/index/~3/ph4FfDIZdL4/-Cheers-and-Jeers:-Rum-and-Coke-FRIDAY!

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